I just need a really long and touchy make out session that leads to sex followed by a long nap together.
"people on benefits shouldn’t be having flatscreen TVs"
why what other kind of TVs do they make? its 2014, you can’t just pop into Argos and buy a 9 inch VCR combo
please sit down
when you know something doesnt fit in the fridge but you force the door shut and let it fall out on someone else
That moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because you’re just so hilarious.
- *friend sees me drunk and leaning on the wall*
- friend: you good?
- *i look up slowly*
- me: are YOU GOOD?! shit im just chillin